I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
