There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
