Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
