just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize