I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
