I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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