hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
