we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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