Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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