just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
