Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
