I cannot find my penis.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize