Me. At least after what I've been through.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
