There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
