how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
