so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He kissed a someone with a penis
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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