I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize