Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
