At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
