he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
