I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
