Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
