He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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