She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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