i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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