i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
