Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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