brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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