Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
