just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
