Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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