also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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