I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
