i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
