well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
