Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
