the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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