Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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