He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize