And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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