Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
