How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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