But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
