On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Will exercising make me less horny?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
