Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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