Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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