I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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