How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
