in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
