anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
