She announced her abortion via fbk
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
