dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize