well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
