DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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