If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
