the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry about my life...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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