my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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