The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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