it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
